The Tactics of Mean

 Here is another post on my Mean Girls Blog Series:

Why are you the one that the mean girl chose?

It's quite simple really, there are only three options to that question:

1. Your her rival. She considers you an equal who might at some point knock her down a notch. You might get the promotion or the man that she wants.
2. She beleives you to be somehow better than her. Either in position of power, or more smarter, or more beautiful than her.
3. She is mean for a reason. You have done something to offend her or may have been a mean girl toward her. Feeling the need to protect herself, she turn mean for a reason.

 So what is the mean girls choice of attack?
Here are some of the tactics that are famously known to be used by MG's:

• Gossip. This is most popular weapon of choice. It is what makes the mean girl feel high and mighty knowing that she is raising herself up to look good and lowering the victim down to look bad. It can bring both pleasure and pain in an easily destructive way. And the truth is, most girls gossip without even trying to hurt someone. But what else is there for girls to talk about? A lot, if you think about it, but most girls find it enjoyable to talk about other people. If you have been gossiped about, then think of this verse:

 A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent {woman}overlooks an insult

~Proverbs 12:16

•  Slander. While gossiping often starts out as what we think is the truth, slandering is what we spread to purposefully hurt someone. But the thing is, not only does it hurt the victim, but it can also have a negative effect on the perpetrator. I love the example that this book has on slander:

Scenario 1.

Eve was forty-five when she met Roger. Twenty years her senior, Roger was the man of her dreams. But when she moved into his house, a shockwave went through the neigborhood. Rumors started to spread about her supposedly gold-digging ways. Women who had never talked to Eve where telling people how manipulative and evil she was. The fear that their husbands would see Roger finding a younger woman and decide to do the same led these women to desperate measures. After all, their families had to be protected. They couldn't let that woman influence there husbands.

Scenario 2.

The babysitter, and energetic twenty-something, adored Joann's kids, and what's more, her kids adored the babysitter. In fact, maybe they liked her a bit too much. When Joann came home from work, the kids cried because the babysitter had to leave. Joann felt awful. So to correct the matter, she began to complain about the babysitter to her husband. "She's irresponsible," "I don't like the way she treats the kids", and so on. Her goal: To replace the babysitter with a woman her kids wouldn't prefer over her.

One of the commandments clearly states: You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor (Exodus 20:16). Many women know this yet often times goes against the word of God, and in turn, cause spiritual destruction to themselves and hurt other people in the process. The truth is, that with slander, no one wins.

• The Compliment Giver. Your so skinny! And other insults... Mean girls tend to know how to give a compliment that you know is meant to be perceived as an insult. Kind of like sarcasm. It's just another way that they can make themselves look sweet to the innocent bystander, but make you feel like dirt in the mud. 

I know that it sounds like I am pointing out all the negatives, but until we fully understand the mind set of a Mean Girl we will never know how to react. Just like you cant resolve an issue if you don't know what the issue is.

Thanks for reading this post, I hope it's leangth didn't bore you too much ;)

Have a Blessed Day!

~Miss.Adriana Castillo

Sing-A-Song Weekend!!!

This is a song that I absolutely love!

It's sung by christian artist Bethany Dillon, and was the soundtrack for the movie Dreamer

Have a Blessed Day!

~Miss.Adriana Castillo

Playing House isn't just for Preschoolers

Think back to the days of your childhood. 

Your head is probably filling with memorys of dress-up, tea party's, and playing house. Or at least that's what my memory's are filled with ;)

So your probably wondering were I am going with this, huh? Well, recently my mom has gone back to work and I have been in charge of my younger siblings. Part of my responsibility's is to keep the house clean, which isn't totally a fun task. Something that I have done though, to make cleaning a little more fun, is I pretend that I am 'playing house'. haha, I go around each room and clean it as if it were my own home and I think about what I would cook for dinner for my 'prince'. And you know what? I actually look forward to cleaning each day!

Along with the cleaning, I have been cooking dinner as well. One of my dear friends, Emily, once told me something that really inspired me to extend my cooking skills. She told me that if you think about it, cooking is the way that you can provide for your husband. He will be the one who is striving to care and provide for you and your family, and the one way that you can care and provide for him is by cooking a hot meal. That has given me a desire to become a great home cook so that one day, when my prince comes, I will be able to provide him with a hot meal during the evening of each day.

I guess I just wanted to share with y'all that playing house isn't just for preschoolers, and my thoughts on the responsibility's that have been handed to me. 

Have a blessed day!

~Miss.Adriana Castillo

New Design!

So I grew a lil tired of my old blog design... so, I decided to change it :)
What do ya think?

~Miss.Adriana Castillo

The MG Problem Quiz

I thought I would share with y'all the quiz that is inside of the Mean Girls All Grown Up book. To keep track of this blog series, just visit the Mean Girls Series page.

Do You Have a Mean Girl Problem?

Answer the following to find out.

1. When you think back on your school days, you remember that most of the time you were:
    a. alone
    b. with your gang
    c. with your best friend

2. Your memories of school are populated with thoughts of:
    a. being laughed at by other girls
    b. making fun of the not-so-popular girls clothes
    c. hanging with your friends and having so much fun you could stay up all night

3. You know how it feels to:
    a. be gossiped about
    b. make someone look bad so you look good
    c. care for a friend who is hurt

4. You spend at least some of your day:
    a. worrying about how to stay out of the way of other women
    b. thinking about how to get even with someone who did you wrong
    c. helping your friends trough tough times

5. When you go to work or church you are:
    a. always on the lookout for an attack by a mean girl
    b. loving your career and feeling free to soar
    c. consulting your friends about all their problems

6. Your friends and family:
    a. would say you worry a lot about what other women think of you
    b. know you are happiest when you are with your friends
    c. see that you are really caring for others

7.  At least once a week:
    a. some woman says something about you that hurts your feelings or is
        meant to
    b. you talk to another woman in a way that puts her down or makes her
        look bad to others
    c. you try and make your friends feel really good about herself

8. When you were younger, Mean girls drove you to cry:
    a. many times
    b. only occasionally, during that time of the month
    c. hardly ever because you had other more important things to
        concentrate on

Now add up your scores:

a = 3 points
b = 2 points
c = 1 points

18-24: MG Problems. You probably have to deal with at least one woman who is out to get you. This book will help you learn more about her and how to handle yourself when she sets her sights on you. Don't worry, this won't last forever. This trauma you are living in has an end. Keep the faith.

11-17: MG. Did you ever think that you might be the mean girl of someone's nightmares? This quiz isn't a perfect diagnosis, but you should read on to find out who you are when others are looking.

8-10: No MG for you. You probably are the one helping the victims of MG's. You see the pain they cause but have mostly stayed free from their attacks. You'll be in a great place if you can learn more about them so you can help others more than you do right now. You are the key to solving the troubles between these women. Never stop being faithful.

~*~

I am not sure what I think of this quiz, or how accurate it is; but nevertheless it doesn't hurt to take it. 

Anyways, I ended up with a score of exactly 10. What did you get?

Have a blessed day!

~Miss.Adriana Castillo

Mean Girls; All Grown Up

 "...Surviving Catty and Conniving Women..."

~Hayley DiMarco

This was a book that I picked up at a christian bookstore about 5 years ago, and a while back I began to read the book but only got past a few chapters. Lately though I have had a few... issues... to say the least. Anyway, as I have grown I have come to learn that girls only become meaner with age. Never have I had as many problems with rude, deceitful, and just plain mean girls as I do now in life. So why do these 'mean girls' target certain people? How do they choose their victims? The question should rather be, How can you shine the light of God to these females?


Because I am struggling with this right now, and will probably have issues with this for the rest of my life, I decided to do a blog series about mean girls. Let's just face it, we have all been bullied or will be bullied by a girl at some point in our life. And no, I do not mean a punch-in-the-face-bullied. I am referring to the insults, gossip, and the 'cutthroat competitions'. So why don't you sit back and tag along with me as I read and blog about the book 'Mean Girls All Grown Up'.

Intro to first Chapter:

"All girls are mean.

    I came to that realization when I had to sit next to them in class for twelve years.
    You don't agree? Well. I know we don't like to admit it, but let's face it. Girls have the capacity to be mean at the drop of a hat. And we don't get any nicer when we grow up. We just get better at it.
    So let me say it again. All girls are mean!
    At this point, a lot of you might think I'm sounding bitter or being a little too hard on the females of the species. But what can I say? The truth hurts, doesn't it? I've been a part of the female sex for almost 40 years, and so I know a bit of which I speak. I've seen girls tear into one another, and I've seen woman destroy the lives of other women. I've actually observed joy on women's faces as they've achieved another victory in manipulation- Or should I say, meanipulation.
All through highschool in my little bitty class of forty people, I felt like the “Victim of the Day”. Every Day. Even friendship couldn't seem to take out the sting of mean. And so for 4 years, tears and loneliness and the nagging question of 'why?' filled my mind. Like many girls, I decided quickly that girls just couldn't be trusted, so I switched to the fairer sex- boys. Guys are just more fair in their dealings with one another. They don't get hung-up on gossip, name calling, backstabbing, or pouting to get their way. They're pretty emotionally level and in the end much easier to be friends with.
In the cooperate world I thought I'd finally be free of Mean Girls. So I breathed a sigh of relief. But to my surprise the girls around me just went from mean to catty and coniving. Now women who had power over my income were using the same gossiping and backstabbing tactics (plus some new ones) and calling on their same insecurities to battle against me. The competition between females no longer just involved which boy we wanted to date but now included which job we wanted to get and which boss we wanted to impress..."

~*~

Be sure to come back later for my next post; 'Do you have a mean girl problem?' Quiz.

Have a blessed day!

~Miss.Adriana Castillo

Sing A Song Weekend!!!

Hello!

This is a song that I absolutely love! I have been working on learning it because I am auditioning to be on our church's worship team, and this is a solo song that I was given to learn. 

Hillsong has such amazing songs! Hope this encourages you this weekend :)

Have a blessed day!
~Miss.Adriana Castillo

Reflection; What God has been teaching me (2)

Click Here to read part one of this story

Reflection;What God has been teaching me

(Part 2)

Days passed and I still wrestled with the decision that I had followed through with. Part of me was saying that I had done what God had told me to, and the other part said that maybe I had heard God wrong and had made the wrong decision. I finally got to a point were I had to say; God, this is in your hands. I trust you and I know that I felt sure of not going to Youth Group for a reason. Let me feel assured of that deep in my heart and show me what my purpose is now. After that, I finally felt at peace, for I had put my worry's in God's hands and knew that he knows what he is doing.

Two months later God showed my family a new church to try out. So we attended it, and not only did it have a wonderful pastor and service, but it also had a youth bible study. My whole family felt instantly in place, and I felt so at home at the bible study. I used to be so afraid of what people might think of me that I had never been myself before, but at this new place I felt secure. I didn't feel that I had to put on a mask as I had before, it was like a weight was lifted from me and when I smiled it was a pure genuine smile. I loved going to the bible study and hanging out with the youth, and to this day I continue to go there.

Now that I look back I can see how God has been changing me slowly these past few months; 

• I am no longer afraid of talking to guys. It feels so great because guys are very cool people and I am enjoying getting to know more brothers in Christ.  
• Also, I am not judging so much. I still struggle with this, but it has improved a lot and I am beginning to see past the outward appearance of people and into who they really are.
• I am much more confident in who I am in Christ and am not worrying so much about what other think of me. Instead I need to focus on what God thinks of me and how I can change to glorify him.
• Lastly, I have learned to trust God. He knows what he is doing and he has a plan for me. It seems like God is continually teaching me to trust in him, but it is something that can continue to grow stronger and stronger.

Learning all that was hard. That youth group had taught me so much over the past few years, and I will always remember that. There is a time and place for everything though, and right now is the time for me to be somewhere else. And because I have followed his instructions for my life, I feel so happy right now and I am filled with His joy!

I guess I'll leave you with this; God saw that I needed to grow more in him and that in order to accomplish that, he would need to take me somewhere else. He gave me peace in the situation and was patient when I grew restless. He eased my burden and allowed me to be myself. All in all, He is an amazing God and he is always looking out for you and me. He is there for you when you are happy and when you are sad. For better or for worse. Through sickness and through health. He is the Ultimate King that loves and cares for you. - And I could go on and on about how God is an Amazing God!

I hope that this has encouraged you to take the path that God has layed out for you. It may not be the easiest path, but the end location will certainly pay off!

May God bless you this week!

~Miss.Adriana Castillo

Reflection; What God has been teaching me (1)

Dear Readers,
I have been trying to think of what my next post should be, so I decided to write about something I have been thinking about lately; Recently I have been reflecting back on these past few months and seeing how God has been working in my life. Even to this day I am amazed at how much effort he puts in to molding and shaping me into a woman of God. So here is a reflection of what God has been teaching me:

Reflection; What God has been teaching me 

(Part 1)

At the beginning of the year I started out going to youth group. It wasn't just an ordinary youth group though; It was a group of mostly homeschooled kids who wanted to gain a deeper relationship with God. And so for the past 3 years, I had been attending this group. Throughout all of my years of going there, I have learned a lot about courtship, reaping what you sow, and much more. These are all things that I am so happy that I have learned about.

When I was going there this year though, something didn't seem right. I didn't feel settled or belonging anymore. I knew that this was not because of the group, but more of something going on with me. So for many months, I struggled with feeling content there as I had before. It was like I was restless.

Not only did I feel out of place, but I also started to notice things about myself that I didn't like. For instance; I was so afraid that if I talked to a guy that others would think that I was either flirting or that I liked him. The issues that I had with myself about that was; A. Talking to a guy is not flirting and does not mean that I like him. B. Why am I so worried of what they think of me? (Yes, reputation is important -To a certain extent- but worrying about self image should not control your life). I also began to worry that if people saw me with someone who didn't look or act like a christian that they would then think that I was associated with that person. Because I felt that way, I began to judge others.
Example;
I saw a person walk in with a skull on their shirt. I knew that this was something that was not approved on by the group, so I decided to ignore the person. Besides, if they see me with that person then maybe they'll think that I am just like that person...

That was something I made up just spur of the moment, but that is how I began to think. I wouldn't even get to know the person and I would assume that I knew who they were just by looking at them and I would then decide whether I wanted to be seen with them or not. It probably sounds odd; but I was judging people because I was worried of being judged.

The things I just listed were things that I wasn't happy about. I knew that it was wrong to be judging others and I also knew that it was ok to talk to guys. But you know what? Even though I was struggling with these things, I could still not imagine leaving the group; I had practically grown up there! Even though I hadn't grown very close to some of the people, I had still seen the same faces week after week, year after year. I didn't want to step out of my comfort zone and find a new youth group with new people. No way! I knew though that I wasn't growing as I had been, and that I needed to make a decision of continuing to go there or not.

December finally came and I was beginning to feel the urgency of making a final decision of going there or not. I didn't know how to decide, so I did what I knew best to do, and that was to pray. I prayed to God on a Wednesday morning, and by the time that afternoon came, I felt the urge to open up my bible. And so I opened it up and let the pages turn to anyplace -I figured that God would let the pages fall into the right place-. The book of Philemon stared at me, and after praying to God that he would give me peace in the decision, I began to read.
"...Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ...."

I was amazed! I knew that It wasn't a shocking revelation that God speaks to people, but it still was something that awed me. And so I continued to read, and I eventually felt assured within me that God was saying it was time that I departed from the Youth Group.

That night I went to a few of my close friends and let them know that I would no longer be attending. It was probably one of the hardest things I had ever done. And with each person that I told, the realization of what was happening began to hit me hard as a rock. Sure I had planned earlier in the day of what I was going to say to these people, but the reality of it hadn't gone through to me yet.

By the end of the night I was blurry eyed with tears, and exhausted. The whole ride home I debated over and over again in my head if I had done the right thing. And when I went to sleep that night I prayed that God would continue to fill me with peace, for I was in need of it.

Check back later to read part 2 

~Miss.Adriana Castillo

The Journey Home, ch 3.

To learn more about my story, or to read a previous chapter, check out the 'A Story' page.

Chapter 3

~The Identity Revealed~

I stood, looking into the eyes of a man who I sensed a connection of danger with. Just five minutes ago I had hopped off the train and was safe, and now I stood trembling with fear. The man grabbed me by the collar, “Give me your money!”. The man spoke gruffly, and I numbly went to retrieve my remaining three dollars. As I reached my back pack that I had thrown on the ground moments before, a swift hand reached out and grabbed it before I could. It was the hand that belonged to the very same man that instilled fear within me. He began to rummage through my belongings, and it made me cringe.

As I had learned when I first began my journey, the only way for a young lady to survive riding the rails, was for her to disguise as a boy. So, I had disguised myself in that manner, but I very well knew that what my bag contained was a blow to my cover. It contained items that were strictly feminine, and there was no way for me to stop the man from finding them. As he began to search through my items, I could see his face crinkle. He then pulled out a pantyhose that I was carrying. As I looked at what the man was holding, I could feel a color of red sweep across my face. Before I knew it, the man had reached over and yanked the hat off my head, and my hidden locks of strawberry-blonde hair then fell onto my shoulders. I didn't know what was to happen next, so I did the first thing that popped in my mind: and right then, I began to run.

Before I knew it, I was back in town. I stopped momentarily to catch my breath, and just so happened to notice a sign. “Welcome to the town of Tennessee”, as I read the sign I felt a small ounce of excitement. At last, I was finally out of Kentucky.

That night I decided that it was time to get some well deserved rest. So I found an old abandoned shack right outside of town, and I started to make camp there. I gathered some old rags that were lying around, and I tied them together to make a sort-of pillow. Then I found some larger pieces of fabric that I could use as blankets, and before I knew it; I had a cozy little bed set up in the corner of the shack. As I cuddled up, my eyes drifting to the beckoning sleep, I hoped with my whole being that no one would find me there. Soon my mind gave way to the tiredness of my body, and I drifted off to a cumbersome sleep. 

Copyrighted 2011, Adriana Castillo

 

I Hope you enjoyed the story! Have a blessed day, and stay tuned for more!

~Miss.Adriana Castillo

New Blog Design

Hi everyone!
So what do you think of my new blog design? Do your think I should keep it or change it back to what it looked like before? If you like it, then what do you think I could improve upon?
I'm looking forward to hearing back from you :)

Have a blessed day!
~Miss.Adriana Castillo 

101 Ways To Have Fun In The Rain!

Ok, so I thought I should maybe post something a little different.... so, how does 101 ways to have fun in the rain sound? ;)

I don't know were you live, but here in Oregon it gets very rainy. And so being able to have fun on dreary days is the key to survival here. haha, just kiddin ;)

101 Ways to have fun in the rain!

1. Splash in mud puddles

2. Go to a pond and feed the duckies

3. Listen to the sound of the rain 

4. Have a who can stay more dry? contest

5. Play twister (Outside!)

6. Catch rain in a cup and see who's cup gets filled first

7. Make a mud pie (Parental supervision not required)

8. Get some white umbrellas, colored Sharpe's, and some friends over for a color a umbrella party!

9. Color with chalk on the sidewalk and watch as the rain washes it a way (Tissues may be needed)

10. Make a tinfoil boat and sail it on a puddle

11. See who's boat can hold more pennies with out sinking

12. Wash your hair outside

13. Put some food coloring in a puddle and then stir with a stick

14. Play pictoinary by drawing with a stick in the mud

15. Take pictures of raindrops

16. Ride your bike through puddles

17. Wash your bike with soap in the rain
18. Drink a big mug of hot cocoa!
19. Wash the family vehicle
20. Paint a watercolor picture, using rain water
21. Dig for worm.... (eww!)
22. Go fishing! Everyone knows it's better int the rain ;)
23. Catch frogs
24. Stand on a sidewalk and let the cars splash you as they drive by
25. Play 'Rain-tag'!
26. Have a water balloon fight (Your already wet, so what's a lil' more water? ;)
27. Bring out a slip n' slide (Or make your own out of mud!)
28. Skip stones in a pond
29. Place a leaf in a stream and watch were it goes
30. Do a rain dance ;)
31. Take some dishes outside and see how fast the rain can wash them
32. Look for rainbows
33. Sit near a window and watch the rain fall
34. Put a few drops of food coloring on a paper plate and let the rain fall on it (you’ll love the effect!)
35. See who can get a bigger grass stain by sliding on the grass (Stain remover may be needed ;)
36. Improve your umbrella twirling skills while you dance outside
37. Make a relay race outside
38. Take a waterproof camera outside and take tons of rainy day pics!
39. Make a homemade water park!
40. Camp outside with a waterproof tent (Lot's of fun!!! -Especially w/ a friend!)
41. Get a group of people together and sing while marching around your block with umbrella's (This makes everybody feel happy on rainy days!)
42. Walk your dog in the rain
43. Play Hide and Go seek outside!
44. Go to a playground at the park
45. Play with squirt guns!
46. Have a outdoor rainy picnic
47. Look to see who can find the coolest rocks
48. Have a race outside to see who is the fastest
49. Plant some bulbs for spingtime flowers :)
50. Do some indoor activitys!
51. Bake some cookies (Yum!)
52. Stage a play!
53. Do some fun crafts
54. Have a book party were you get together with your friends and talk about your favorite literature
55. Play board games
56. Watch a family movie
57. Have a indoor dance party!
58. Organize something productive to do (Spring cleaning, ect...) then give everybody a special treat afterwards!
59. Play Charades
60. Have a reading marathon (I bet I can read more books than you! ;)
61. Write stories together
62. Create a fort together in your living room that they can then sleep in (Campouts are soooo much fun!)
63. Have a family pillow fight!
64. Have a scavenger hunt!
65. Make mazes/puzzles for each other to solve (My Favorite thing to do!!!)
66. Play card games
67. Go to the library
68. Go shopping together for rain attire :)
69. Create a scrapbook
70. Make a movie using a video camera
71. Learn to play a musical instrument
72. Fingerpaint
73. Make homemade playdough
74. Make homemade mini pizzas!! (Another favorite!)
75. Get a white T-Shirt and design it using paint
76. Visit extended family
77. Write letters to people
78. Paint or decorate a room in the house
79. Decorate a pair of jeans (Or a jean skirt)
80. Teach them a new game
81. Make up trivia questions about each other
82. Play House or School
83. Do shadow puppets
84. Make a comic book
85. Take turns saying tongue twisters
86. Make some Lego creations
87. Make a cake and decorate it
88. Play dress-up
89. Start a sowing project
90. Make friendship bracelets
91. Learn to knit
92. Make prank calls using dusgiused voices
93. Make paper airplanes and have a flying contest
94. Pretend your the news and make whether reports
95. Make a how-to video
96. Make tin can phones connected with strings
97. Create your own code for someone to dicipher
98. Use binoculars to observe your neighbors
99. Write using invisible ink (Lemon juice is a good substitute
100. Create a blog together
101. Blog about 101 ways to do something! ;)

Well, I hope you enjoyed this post! Maybe this will give you some fun  ideas to keep yourself, siblings, or kids occupied :) 

Have a blessed rainy day!
~Miss.Adriana Castillo