“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
~C.S. Lewis
But what happens when Gods plan for your life is different then the one that you have dreamed of?
That is the question that I have been asking myself since the beginning of this year. Lately it seems as though everything is happening too fast. I feel like my childhood days are slipping away from me and soon I will no longer have the luxuries of care-free days and dreaming for I will be off into the adult world of working and going to college. When I was younger I used to dream of being on American Idol and becoming a famous singer, or an actress.
Although childish, I have dreamed of being a singer practically all my life. I tend to look up to famous singers like Francesca Battistelli, or Natalie Grant and hope that someday I can sing songs that touch peoples hearts. But in truth, God has blessed me with many gifts but singing has not been one of them.
A few months ago I went to the worship pastor of our church and asked if I could audition to be apart of the worship team. And so I did, and as you can guess from the above writing, I didn't make it. I was so embarrassed and crushed. I was embarrassed because I honestly did believe that I could sing, and crushed because I felt as though all my dreams were being smashed and that they were likely to never happen.
After that happened I gave up on the idea of singing. I didn't want to give up on those dreams, honestly I wanted to hold onto them and hope that they would still come true. But I didn't feel as though God was calling me to do that, and so I let them go. What made it most difficult was that I had always thought that God would find a way to fill the desires of my heart -Which was to sing- but the thing is that it doesn't work that way. Yes, it does say in the Bible that he will give you the desires of your heart -but on one condition, that you delight yourself in him:
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. ~Psalms 37:4
I don't think that I ever once asked God if singing was a part of his plan for me. I think I always just assumed that it was, and I guess that that is were I stumbled - by making my life plans without asking if that was what I am called to do.
Now, I am not trying to say that it is bad to dream, but rather the contrary. God has given us the ability to use our minds creatively to imagine ourselves and what we want to do or who we want to be. But he also wants us to come to him and seek his purpose in our lives. He wants us to get to know Him and what his 'dream' is for us. Perhaps if I had done that sooner on in my life then I could have saved myself a lot of heartache, for I could have started focusing on His goal for my life rather than my own
.
It seems that all my life I have heard pastors speaking on seeking God and the plans that he has for you, year after year I have heard those sermons yet somehow I managed to be oblivious of it.
Now that I have recognized my fault, I have begun to search for a new dream, but this time, one that God agrees with. For He knows what is best for me and can fulfill the true desires of my my heart, even when I don't see or realize those desires.
I pray that all of you sisters in Christ can continue to seek God with your dreams and desires.
Have a blessed day,
Miss.Adriana
