A Taste Of My Own Medicine

Now it's time for me to eat my own words and swallow. 

A taste of my own medicine I suppose you could say.

Whether I am making any sense at all or not is to be determined, but maybe this will clarify it;

Not so long ago I wrote a post about thanksgiving and being grateful for what you have. I believe I even mentioned counting your blessings as the proper medicine to remedy ungratefulness. Well let's just say that I am due a teaspoon about right now.

Just earlier today my mom was talking with a close family friend. We've known them for what seems like forever but haven't been in as close of contact these last few years. Anyhow, they have a daughter that is like 4 days older than me, and so they were each talking about their daughters. Well, it just so happens that my friend Melia is an amazing singer who is learning to sing a song in 3 different languages that she will perform in an operah. Along with this Stanford University is trying to recruit her for her amazing talent of singing. So what does this have to do with me? Well, it just so happens that I have always dreamed of singing. There was never anything else that I wanted to do in my life besides sing. Yes I have had some other dreams, but singing has always been number 1. But guess what? I can't sing! I believe I wrote a post about this before, but to sum it up, at the begining of this year I auditioned to sing in our church worship team and ended up feeling humiliated and have had no desire since to ever sing in public again. So let me get back to the topic here.

Ever since that humiliating experience I have asked God and myself why out of all my talents singing couldn't be one of them. I mean, I never asked to be good at drawing, painting, or baking. I never asked for any of those, my one and only desire was to sing even if it was only in the worship team at church. Well, I guess God had other plans in mind with me. But after hearing about my friend it left me with an ungrateful taste in my mouth. It made me wonder why I couldn't have been gifted like that. Why I couldn't be the girl with the voice. And it pretty much showed me how spoiled rotten I was to be so selfish and not be happy for her and be grateful for what I do have. 

So now I am starting a list of my blessings, because as I have mentioned, giving the glory to God is the best remedy for ungratefulness. 

Among many others, here are a few items on my list;

I am grateful for....

...My many talents

...Loving friends that are always there for me

...Loving parents that believe in me

...My blog readers that encourage me to write, which helps me to sort out my thoughts at times

...A God that loves and sees me as something special no matter what I can or can't do

I suppose you all now know a little piece of my thoughts/feelings at times, even the ones that aren't completely 'christian like'. Even so, I know God will continue to use these experiences to grow me closer to Him so that I can continue to grow deeper in knowing Him.

Many Blessings,